God's Grace and Sisterly Love...

Lots has happened over the summer and into fall...We made some BIG, HUGE decisions and truly feel that we are following in the direction God is leading us.  We have so much to be thankful for and I can't wait to share it all with you. 

2 Corinthians 9:15   Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift

 
Okay, it is what you think but it isn't if that makes any sense!  It has been 6 or 7 (I've lost count lol) long years and never how we thought we would become parents but consider it such a blessing.

I know so many of you are like me and "need to know the story" so here it goes...

When my precious niece was about 4 months old, my sister and her husband randomly show up at our house one evening.  They proudly announce that they are willing to carry our baby and are ready to start whenever we are.  Imagine our surprise!  Neither of us knew what to say...so of course I just started crying.  

Last February we began the long process of finances, lawyers, doctors, etc.  Although quite comical at times, I won't bore you with the details but, I will be glad to privately share specifics for anyone who is going through this or needs guidance/advice.  All of this comes on the coat tails of me finally surrendering everything I knew, wanted to control, and worried about to our Lord.  When we made the decision to take them up on their offer, it was with only one condition between the two of us...this was it.  It would be the end of a beginning either way.  We would move on to a wonderful, fulfilling life without children or a crazy, chaotic life with a kid.  We were both totally at peace with whatever path God had in store for us.  I never thought I would be at that point in my life but I came to the realization that what we have or don't have on earth is not what matters at all.  I have Jesus in my heart and am assured of my eternal place in Heaven and folks, that's what matters.  Such good stuff when you finally get what God's been telling you for years!!!!!!! 

Finally, in August we sealed the deal!  Implantation was on July 30th and our due date is April 17th.  We are almost 13 weeks pregnant :) 

I can't even begin to describe the gratitude in my heart for such a selfless, giving sister I have.  There is nothing greater that someone can do for someone else besides bring their child into the world.  Well maybe this is right below leading someone to salvation but in the flesh, this is a pretty big deal.  Above my heart felt thanks to her is my honor and praise to God for orchestrating the whole shebang!  

People might say this is a miracle.  I don't think that, I think that God perfects his plan in his own timing.  What I will be eternally grateful for is this adorable bundle of joy you see below.  Because, without her none of this would have been possible.  The #1 requirement for a gestational carrier is that she has had at least one child of her own.         

We got to hear the heartbeat today...the sweetest sound I've ever heard!  We have been released from the fertility doctor and are "a normal pregnancy" now...whatever that means.  None of this is normal!  Please continue to pray for all of us as we journey through these showers of blessings together. 

Love,
Jennifer

Resting in His strength...

I know it has been a while...I am so sorry.  Lots of fun things have been happening!  Byron and I are doing better than ever, loving life to the fullest :) 

Gal. 6:9 "For we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up".

Let me go back to after our failed "natural" cycle.  We decided to get a 2nd opinion to our "you will never have children of your own" news.  I made an appointment in Houston.  It was a disaster from the beginning.  Our first visit came after a long 5 hour adventure in the waiting room.  For those of you who know us, you realize that neither one of us have tolerance for stuff like this.  I realize the doctor was busy and am grateful that he was helping others but REALLY????  When we finally got back there it was another hour or so before we saw him. 
They did blood work and laid out a plan for running all sorts of tests but first I had to take a pregnancy test.  This was so comical for us but we did what we were told.  The next day, the nurse called back and said, "you are pregnant".  After several minutes of me confirming that she knew who she was talking to, I was still in total disbelief.  All I could do was laugh because after years of procedures and trying things that are unheard of, we manage to do this all on our own.  I realize this happens to lots of couples and is not that rare but there was no way it could happen to us.
This news meant another trip to Houston to confirm my levels were increasing.  I remember the drive over there, I was so excited yet trying to tell myself not to be too hopeful.  Secretly I was still convinced that this nurse called the wrong person.  When I got to Houston, there were lots of blood tests and ultrasounds.  Unfortunately, there was no signs of pregnancy on the ultrasound.  We went through months(from Aug to Jan) of trips to Houston, lab work, ultrasounds, etc.  The conclusion was a tubal pregnancy that dissolved itself.  I know...whew what else right? 
While we were disappointed, we were also very blessed to have God controlling the situation.  A tubal pregnancy can be life threatening.  I am grateful that although it took months, lots of trips, and emotions out the wazoo, it ended safe and soundly.  On a side note, the funniest thing to me was trying to argue not being pregnant with my local doctor when I got a sinus infection.  Have you ever tried to tell a doctor, nurse practitioner, lab technician, and a gazillion nurses that you aren't pregnant when clearly your urine and blood tell them different?  Hilarious :)

What we learned through this was to rest in God's strength.  This may sound cold or harsh but this life lesson was a means to an end for me to truly rely on God's will for us.  Totally surrendering to that is the hardest thing I've ever done.  I struggle daily to take my worries, fears, controlling nature, and selfish behaviors captive so I can do what I am put on the earth to do...honor and obey our awesome Lord.  Through this, Byron realized that there was unfinished business in his life. He is like so many others of us...walked the isle as a small child but didn't fully understand or commit.  After losing a dear friend that had invested so much love, time, and guidance into his life, Byron realized that he needed to be saved.  He is so private and did this without anyone knowing.  It wasn't too long after this experience that he realized God was convicting him to get his Baptism on the right side of his salvation. 

It is so mind boggling when I stop and look at how much our lives have changed.  Our priorities are  on track to where they should be and it has made such a difference.  I know some people don't understand and may not agree with all we do but we strive daily to focus on God and his desires and direction.  My prayer is this shows and helps others to see where they should be going with their lives.  Please email me if there is anything I can pray with you about.  I would be honored.

We are human and do mess up so please note...we are not on a pedestal!  But I do I know God wants to use our stories to impact the world.  We are ready and open for the challenge! 

I pray that this blog is blessing you as much as it is me.  


Please keep us in your prayers...we are trying to discover God's will for the next steps in our lives.  I will share as soon as it is made clear to us :)

Love,
Jennifer

The thing about Joy...

The fourth failed cycle taught me true JOY...Jesus, Others, Yourself

A month or so after the 3rd attempt, we lost a family member near and dear to our hearts...my husband's Dad passed.  I remember my brother in law saying..."you will for sure have a baby soon, Dad is up there right now talking with God".  While I didn't cling to this hope, it was always in the back of my mind that maybe this was our time since, "the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21  My mind ran wild with imagination and hopes that this was his perfect plan, to send a baby to our family during the most devastating situation, filling a void that could no other way be filled.  Sadly enough, this wasn't his plan at all.  Several weeks later, our fourth attempt, our "natural cycle" was unsuccessful.  I was numb.  This left us once again at a decision point...move on with our lives or try again.  I just didn't have it in me.  We decided to take a break and really focus on God's plan for our lives.  Now this was in no way easy because I still ached to be a mother.     

I kept thinking something wasn't right.  I had this yukky feeling in the pit of my stomach that had nothing to do with fertility.  This "prompting" had been there for a long time.  I just chose to ignore it rather than explore it.  As I began to focus less on myself and more on God, I figured out the problem...I wasn't saved.  As a small child, I remember walking the isle at GA camp and then being "dunked" when we got back to church.  I just couldn't nail down when that was and the thing that bothered me most was that I couldn't remember ever truly asking Jesus into my heart and meaning it.  On January 13, 2011 I sat with my pastor and asked Jesus into my heart.  The yukky feeling that I was referring to earlier was gone immediately.  I was baptised on January 23, 2011.

 

How To Be Saved

If you want to know how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, it's so simple ...! 

1 -- Acknowledge in your heart that you are a sinner. Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." 
**Sin is all the things that we have done against God ... ie. lying, adultery, theft, idolatry. The Bible is clear that every last one of us have sinned or will sin. And so we need God's forgiveness. 

2 -- Realize that Jesus Christ died for your sins. Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." 
**Jesus is the only person who walked this earth COMPLETELY sinless. HE was the sacrifice for our sins and He took our sins on himself and died for us. Then 3 days later He rose from the grave!!! He buried our sins in death and rose again with new life! 

3 -- Know that we are all on a path of eternal death BUT Jesus' offers salvation and eternal life as a FREE gift. Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." 
**What we deserve for our sins is death, but accepting His gift of forgiveness that gives eternal life in Heaven is absolutely free. There is nothing we can do to earn God's grace, forgiveness and salvation - it is absolutely free! 

4 -- Pray. Romans 10:9 "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." 
**Confess your sins to God, ask for forgiveness, tell Him your heart (He knows it already ;) and tell Him that you want Him to be Lord of your life. 

If you have never asked Jesus to be Lord of your life, now is the time! It's so simple. Why? Because the God of the universe loves us and wants you and I to live an abundant life with Christ. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." 

I know what you're thinking...hallelujah this girl has finally learned her lesson and we can move on!  I totally get that but, God has other plans in store for us.  Funny thing is that, I am fine with that.  We are still on our "break" and lovingly listening to every direction God gives us.  He will tell us when it is time to make a move.  Right now, I focus on the JOY I receive in simply waking every morning and anxiously waiting on what or who will be put in my path.